When – it all works together in the end

I’ve come to believe that we have very little control over our lives. Sure we can run away from God and His plans but in my experience it usually works out to be what He had all along. Which is the best for us anyways.

I have patiently endured to find out when God wanted to take me Africa, and He showed me. One day my mom came back from a family friends funeral and said I know who your going to Africa with”. Three days later I went to make perogies and I was going in January. They must have thought I peeled potatoes really well. I was baffled, God really can make something out of nothing. Here I was doing research and applying to  programs and God had it all planned.  With only a small amount of hoops to jump I’v started on my way.

I know that – if all things work together for good, if I had choose something else then it would have been okay as well. But if we want the best, then we must wait for what God has planned.

Sincerely

Robyn

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Giving up the one thing I wanted

I have done the hardest thing in my life to this point. I gave up the only thing I wanted in life and the dream iv had since I was a child. This reminds me about the verse in Matthew about giving up everything, laying your life down to follow Jesus. With that in mind here’s my story:

In the fall of 2015 I started dating. Which for me is kinda a big deal because I am a little naive and idealistic, I had never had a boyfriend before and this was a whole new experience. At the time the circumstances didn’t permit any relationships but I tend to be a rule breaker so we ignored it and started anyways. The young love was blooming and everything was roses and happy (besides the no-dating rule) and in December we had gotten quite serious and I received a promise ring. Ten months later both our living situations changed and we were now doing long distance. This was okay because we both kept busy and saw each other every couple months but of course it strained our relationship. The more months past, the more our relationship grew apart, we started fighting and giving less attention to making an effort. Now we both loved each other  and cared deeply for one another but something had to change. In January I started the conversation about possibly moving or getting married but I only got resistance. Come April I was done talking about idea’s and what if’s and wanted decisions. We talked daily about this but nothing, so we decided ending our once “rose-colored glasses” relationship was the only way. I was devastated. Life seemed to end, nothing to look forward to anymore. All my plans, hopes and dreams where nothing anymore. As I worked through my grief I still held out hope that we’d get back together someday and everything would be good again.
Recently we  met up to get closure and talk without letting feelings get in the way. I walked away feeling like I wanted to fight for us, this  was the one thing I wanted in life and if that meant I had to fight as hard as I could, I would do whatever it took. . . But the feelings weren’t mutual. As much as I fought, I knew he would never fight for us. So I had to lay it down. My most prized possession. I had to give up my everything to choose what God had for me.
I have a good understanding of what it means to lay down your life and  dreams for your walk with Christ. As we sacrifice and push the bounds of our faith we become more and more like Jesus. When I thought this was going to be the end of the world, it was just the begging for the Lord to bless me. Sometimes God wants to give us a bigger gift but we have to let go of this one in order to hold what He has for us. I know that as this relationship was once a gift, that He will give both of us both new and better gifts.
Sincerly
Robyn